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document updated 13 years ago, on Apr 17, 2010
see also: Ginny Rebecca B*'s summary
There are four basic attributes that someone can take on:   (contrary to heteronormativity or homonormativity, these do not have to line up in only two or three combinations)
physical identity (ie. XY or XX chromosomes, male or female genitalia, non-binary = intersex, hermaphrodite)
gender identity (what someone self-identifies as, non-binary = genderqueer, intergender, situational = gender fluid, bigender)
sexual orientation (who they're sexually attracted to, non-binary = bisexual)
sexual role (what role they take on during sex, ie. top or bottom, situational = switch, versatile)

Sexual orientation can be further broken out into:
sexual orientation (who they internally feel they're attracted to)
sexual identity (who they outwardly present themselves as being attracted to, ie. out of the closet or not)
sexual behavior (who they actually have sex with — some people don't view themselves as homosexual, even if they occasionally have homosexual sex)

generally

queer not heteronormative; unusual; different
cisgendered not transgendered
trans- and cis- These were derived from the chemistry analogue (cis-trans isomerism), meaning "on the same side" and "on the other side".

physical identity

transexual someone who wishes to have (or currently does have) a different physical identity than they had at birth

trans man a TS/TG man who was born a woman
trans woman a TS/TG woman who was born a man

SRS (sexual reassignment surgery)
HRT (hormone replacement therapy)
SRT (sexual reassignment therapy) umbrella term that includes all medical procedures a transexual might want, including SRS, HRT, chest reconstruction surgery, permanent hair removal, vocal surgery, etc
pre-op a transexual who hasn't had SRS yet; implies that they're either planning to have SRS, OR that they're no-op
post-op a transexual who has already had SRS
no-op someone who identifies or others view as transexual, but who doesn't plan on ever having SRS

gender identity / social identity

transgender historically it meant someone who wanted SRS, but it's since broadened to basically mean "genderqueer"
cisgender someone who has a heteronormative gender identity
genderqueer someone who has a non-heteronormative gender identity

transvestite a historical term for "crossdressing"; most people don't self-apply it now, since it's a somewhat loaded term
crossdressing a general-purpose term for someone whose gender identity doesn't match their physical identity (it doesn't imply a specific motivation)

drag queen motivation = for entertainment or performance, often exagerating or satirizing femininity (faux queens are female-bodied people who dress as drag queens, ie. overdo it)
transvestic fetishism,
autogynephilia
motivation = for sexual/erotic purposes
genderfuck motivation = to challenge social norms, also sometimes to force people to "give them space" to have a fluid identity and/or initially explore their identity
crossplay combination of "cosplay" and "crossdressing" -- motivation = entertainment/performance

pass being able to be accepted as the desired gender by strangers during daily life
(it can also mean passing even while dating; however, failing to verbally disclose to your partner that you're trans is considered pretty fairly unethical within the trans community, and always seen as unethical outside the trans community)

sexual orientation

androphilia someone who is sexually attracted to masculine people (a better, more generic term than "gay man" or "straight woman")
gynephilia someone who is sexually attracted to feminine people (generic term)

trannyfag a trans person (often FTM) who is attracted to masculine people
trannydyke a trans person (often MTF) who is attracted to feminine people

girlfag, fag hag a female who is attracted to homosexual men (fag hag is the platonic version, girlfag implies romantic/erotic attraction)
guydyke a male who is [sexually] attracted to lesbians

sexual role

top a person who assumes the dominant/assertive role in sex
bottom a person who assumes the receptive/submissive role in sex
versatile a person who enjoys both topping and bottoming
switch a person who enjoys both topping and bottoming (in BDSM activities)

sissy a genderqueer male bottom (used by the trans and BDSM communities)