Dos and don'ts of being an ally

Caveat — I am white. Take my words with a HUGE grain of salt, and instead go listen to the POC who are linked below.

Don'ts

• Don't be a white savior. Don't be paternalistic, and don't encourage dependence. Rather, offer assistance in a way that fosters autonomy and empowerment.
  • "A typical ‘rescuer’ doesn’t offer authentic and altruistic help. It isn’t the type of help the supports the other to grow or develop. It is the type of help that encourages the other to depend on the helper."
• Don't be a typical white liberal, whose words suggest they're against racism, but whose actions don't differ much from white conservatives. See Malcolm X's criticisms of the white liberal and his descriptions of the wolf versus the fox [2] [3].
  • And see Martin Luther King Jr's criticisms of the "white moderate" in his Letter from a Birmingham Jail.
  • (see more criticisms of liberalism)
• Don't be distracted by performative activism — make an actual difference by volunteering, donating, attending a local municipal meeting, or various other ways.
• Avoid the sentimentality and paternalism of the White Savior Industrial Complex.
• Stop viewing POC as lacking human agency.
• Don't make your anti-racism efforts the center of attention. Listen to POC leaders, and point other white people towards POC content-creators and leaders.
  • "Accomplices’ actions are informed by, directed and often coordinated with leaders who are Black, Brown First Nations/Indigenous Peoples, and/or People of Color. … Accomplices build trust through consent and being accountable - this means not acting in isolation where there is no accountability."

Dos

• Recognize that racism and anti-Blackness are the water we swim in, they are so constant as to be invisible. Media literacy [2] [3] is important, and we're constantly bombarded with messages of racism and white supremacy.
  • The modern concept of "race" has been around since the 18th century, so it has become a deeply-embedded part of our culture.
• Recognize that it will probably be a life-long journey to unlearn racism.
  • Accept that you are occasionally going to make mistakes and cause harm to others. Perfection is impossible.
  • When someone points out that you've caused harm, do not get defensive. Instead apologize, take responsibility, and resolve to do your homework and make changes to avoid repeating that mistake.

See also

Other articles that list dos or don'ts of being an anti-racism ally:

• "Opportunities for White People in the Fight for Racial Justice", which has been "edited by Black, Brown, and People of Color"
  • "Ally is typically considered a verb - one needs to act as an ally, and can not bestow this title to themselves."
• "How White People Can Support People Of Color Now", by Hannah Giorgis [bio]
• "The Do’s and Don’ts of Being a Good Ally", by Karnythia / Mikki Kendall [bio]
• "No More 'Allies' ", by Mia McKenzie [bio]
  • "It’s not supposed to be about you. It’s not supposed to be about your feelings. It’s not supposed to be a way of glorifying yourself at the expense of the folks you claim to be an ally to. It’s not supposed to be a performance. It’s supposed to be a way of living your life that doesn’t reinforce the same oppressive behaviors you’re claiming to be against."
  • "actions count; labels don’t"
• "Systemic racism has affected all of us. Here’s how to start unlearning its harmful lessons.", by Elizabeth Wellington [short bio]
• "10 ways to be an ally to Black LGBT people", by Stonewall.org.uk's BAME/PoC Staff Network