document updated 16 years ago, on Jan 7, 2010
The problem is that a hard feelings cause a downward spiral. Once they form, it becomes much easier to miscommunicate with each other. And miscommunications lead to more hard feelings.
Some tips to try to halt this downward spiral:
- Listen. Really listen. Seek first to understand your partner before being understood.(tem #13, PDF page 7)
- deal only with the issue of the moment (item #9, PDF page 4)
Don't go into ad-hominems. Don't pull in every past fight into the current one. Try to solve one problem at a time. Stay focused.
- Always assume good faith. Believe in the goodness of your partner. (item #14, PDF page 7)