document updated 14 years ago, on Oct 4, 2010
It can be shown, via proof by induction, that you HAVE to come out of the closet to your family/friends sooner rather than later. The proof follows:
- Do you want to still be closeted after death?
Rarely does someone want to be. After death, the risks of coming out are nil — there isn't anything that people can do to you once you're dead. The risks of staying closeted are high — people use revisionist history to try to "smooth" history over in a way that makes THEM feel more comfortable, but hides your identity (see bisexual erasure).
Further, the main reason that someone feels pressured to stay closeted is that society doesn't accept them. One reason for this is that people who came before you were closeted too, they were hidden from view, so society didn't have to confront their own internal fears. So the deceased really wants to have their identity known, to make it easier for others to come out. (this is not a trivial issue.... the deceased probably faced a LOT of discrimination while alive, and the more discrimination they faced, the more important it was to them to come out, so that others don't have to face so much discrimination)
So this revisionist history is, in fact, the EXACT OPPOSITE of what the deceased would have wanted. It is very disrespectful to them.
- Do you want to come out of the closet when on your deathbed? (eg. Freddie Mercury)
Again, not really, no. You want to be able to deal with the issues of the moment, and not have to have the added emotional burden of figuring out how to come out in a thoughtful and careful way.
- Do you want to come out of the closet a few weeks before your death?
Less sure, but probably no.
- A few months? A year?
Maybe not a big deal...?
Though the shorter the timespan that you're out, the easier it is for them to revise history to say that "you were only that way for a very short while, it must not have been that important to you".
- What happens if you're in an accident that kills or incapacitates you, and you don't have the opportunity to do what Freddie Mercury did?
Okay, fine. It's better to come out well before your death.