fashion generally

• flaunted carelessness works if you're at the top of your game

androgyny

• People will accept you, no matter how far outside "normal" you are, as long as you're confident and self-assured enough.
  (In many cases, people need space and time to decide how comfortable they are with you. However, if you're not extremely comfortable with yourself, then other people will focus on your nervousness, instead of taking the time they need to figure out what their reaction to you is.)
• Guys have no clue how much care women put into their appearance, and how much they pay attention to how others perceive them. However, if you outwardly show this (ie. constantly readjusting things to make sure they're still laying in exactly the right spot), you'll appear fussy and nervous. Don't do this.
• Part of femininity is being graceful. People who try to be androgynous by hypercorrecting do not look graceful. Instead, take a slow-and-steady and subdued approach to integrating feminine elements.
• People who want to be androgynously stylish end up having to spend more time thinking about fashion than even gay guys. They have to learn both men's and women's fashion, and then find sensible ways to blend the two. "You have to learn the rules before you can break them."

  The fact that there are very few androgynous people to glean style cues from, means that the job is even harder. (granted, runway models have been pretty androgynous for a while, but I don't think runway fashion translates well into normal practical clothing)