What pronoun strangers use for me is a BIG DEAL. This is especially true for acquaintances who are obviously trying to be respectful and totally open and accepting, but then GET MY PRONOUN WRONG.

It's important what pronoun someone uses, because it indicates whether they view me as male or female. Viewing me as female is one of the most affirming things someone can do.

My assertion is:

I don't need a female body to view myself as feminine.

I don't need a female body for others to recognize me as woman. Passing does not need to be a goal of mine.

How does that work though? For myself, I know what's in my head. For others, how do they know how I view myself?

If all of the difficult-to-change gender cues point to being masculine, and all of my easy-to-change gender cues point to being feminine... then the conclusion should be that I view myself as feminine. The easy-to-change cues are a more accurate clue of how I view myself. Therefore, you should either "she" me, or ASK WHAT MY PREFERRED PRONOUN IS.

(difficult-to-change cues being: voice, beard shadow, waist-to-hip ratio, facial structure, and easy-to-change cues being: what I wear, makeup/jewelry, padding my bra, how I hold my body, etc)